Gnymphoquest 2011

There is no time to think about Nepeta wiggling along in front of you – the only ass you’re after right now is Aradiabot’s cold, robotic tush. From somewhere in the distance, you can hear a FAINT WHIRRING NOISE. It sounds promising, and Nepeta seems to agree, so you shift course and turn a corner in the shafts, heading towards it. The noise grows louder as you creep through the vents. It sounds vaguely electronic, and soon you begin to hear beeping noises alongside it.

Could this be what you’re searching for?

Excited, you and Nepeta clamber forwards and SHIT SHIT FUCK WHY ARE YOU FALLING OH SHIT

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impromptuonedykedanceparty asked: I have no idea whether to consider that last post an indication that you are or aren't shutting down o.o but I hope you aren't!

Don’t worry, that was just a bad April Fools joke. New update happening momentarily!

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I’m shutting this blog down, and this time oh who am I kidding it’s April Fools Day none of you are going to believe me.

There’s actually going to be an update soon, and by soon I mean later today soon.

Happy April Fools Day everyone!

A quick search of the room reveals two things. Firstly, there is an entrance to the vent system in the wall closest to the door. Secondly, Feferi clearly hasn’t read through the EVIL OVERLORD LIST, because the vent shaft is easily big enough for the three of you to squeeze into. Sollux elects to go last, the given reason being that he doesn’t want “the ladiie2 2tariing at my a22 the whole tiime”. Nepeta climbs in first, wriggling up into the shaft and scooching forward to make room for you. You quickly follow her and find yourself staring at a FACEFUL OF NEPETA ASS, which is barely concealed by her loincloth. It isn’t too bad a sight, you think.

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You’re pretty sure that gnostication isn’t a word, and that it wouldn’t be the right word to use even if it were, but you think you get the general idea. You’ve never tried any sort of fortune-telling before – after all, who needs fortune-telling when they have psychic dreams?? – but there’s a first time for everything, right?

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Nepeta has two SHARP CLAWED HANDS which she can use as weapons. She possesses the keen SENSES OF THE HUNTRESS which allow her to track targets (like you!). She is wearing nothing more than a SIMPLE LOINCLOTH which was constructed using tree leaves. She is NOT HUNGRY, and EXCITED TO BE ON THE MOVE. Her SEXUAL FURRSTRATION METER was just emptied, as was yours – although it’s not like yours has really had any time to fill up considering the rate at which you have been FUCKING THINGS.

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You turn around again, and again you see nothing. You are being paranoid about this, you are DEFINITELY NOT BEING STALKED BY A CATGIRL. The very notion is beyond absurd.

You begin to press onwards, determined to get through the jungle. The terrain begins to slope gently downwards and the river bends, coming back around and forcing you to cross another bridge. Once you pass that bridge, however, you note some GLASS WALLS very far in the background, just barely within the range of your vision. You must be near the Arboreum exit!

You dash forwards and wait what’s that growling sound, and why is there a noise behind you and OH GOD YOU REALLY ARE BEING STALKED BY A CATGIRL

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[In fact, I’ve got an update coming in a few minutes! You can all take a moment to pick your jaws up off the floor, I’ll be waiting.

No but seriously, I can’t apologize enough for nearly abandoning this adventure. It was awesome, and more importantly, you guys were awesome. It never would’ve made it this far without all the great suggestions and support from my followers, and I owe it to you guys to finish this.

I’m streamlining my writing process and taking even more control over it than before, so I can get it done. You can still send in commands if you want and I may incorporate the best ideas I find, but, like I began to do shortly before letting the adventure crawl to a standstill, I won’t be forcing myself to use a command for every update.

I hope to keep chugging along to an actual, decent finish. It’ll probably still be slow going - one or two medium-to-large updates every now and then instead of a bunch of small ones.

Thanks to those of you who stuck around this long. I really hope I can make it worth the wait D:]

There is a shuffling sound from behind you and you swing your head around to look at it. Nothing is there except Sollux, who is scratching his head, nonplussed. You must be hearing things.

You turn back to the LIQUID THAT IS PROBABLY NOT SAP and crouch down to inspect it closer. You scoop a bit up and taste it.

Hmm.

You don’t recognize the taste, but it definitely isn’t sap. If your guess is correct, a troll with OLIVE BLOOD has been through here recently.

Jade: No, seriously. Look behind you!

You press onwards into the jungle. Great leafy fronds block your progress and you do your best to swat them out of your way as you keep moving. You could swear you hear the occasional growl or snap of a twig echoing out from somewhere around you, and you begin to worry that the jungle is infested by wild animals. Your fears come to a head when you stumble across the remains of a WILD BOAR, which was torn apart by…something.

Every now and then you pass another tree coated with the strange olive sap, or a bush, or a vegetable with a PHALLIC SHAPE…

…

You begin to suspect that the olive liquid isn’t actually sap.

Jade: Look behind you!

You finally think you’re READY TO BOUNCE – er, you mean, get out of here. You lead Sollux over to the river, and head for the bridge. You notice that one of the trees near the bridge is covered in claw marks, and dripping with…sap? It looks like sap, and it’s slightly sticky, but you’re pretty sure sap isn’t supposed to come in an ODD OLIVE COLOUR. Shrugging, you cross the bridge without any trouble and make it to the other end.

The exit is still out of sight, though. There is a MASSIVE JUNGLE between it and you, and no path to follow. It looks like the jungle has OVERGROWN; there are a few cracked tiles sitting around in the dirt, but you can’t make heads or tails of the direction they used to point in.

Jade: Press onwards!

You pass by a long, bulbous cucumber and it suddenly begins to look VERY APPEALING…

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You bound over to Sollux and before he has the chance to dodge he gets a FACE FULL OF BOOB.

— BOOBLOG –

GG: are they any less swollen now????

TA: mmmphhpmhphmhph.

GG: is that a yes or a no? :o

TA: mphhhh!

GG: i will take that as a yes! :D

TA: mph.

— END BOOBLOG –

Jade: Stick a cucumber in you. [Masturbation scene]

Anonymous asked: How many commands are you still receiving for Gnymphoquest?

(( Quite a few! Sadly, this means that many of them go unused. Some are hilarious ideas that I just can’t quite fit in, some are so completely off-the-wall I don’t know how the submitter came up with them (I still like receiving them, though! I just usually can’t use them) and every now and then I get one that’ll advance the story.

Honestly, I feel sort of like Hussie; he once said that once his adventures got popular enough, he could literally scroll through pages upon pages of commands and cherry-pick the ones that he needed to advance the story the way he wanted it. The same thing ends up happening here where I already know what I want to do and pick the commands that’ll help me get there. It’s probably conducive to a faster-paced and more organized story to stop indulging silly commands, anyways.

That doesn’t mean you should stop submitting commands, though! I’ve had plenty of hilarious tangents and good ideas fostered by commands, and hell, this entire segment in Feferi’s palace would not have happened if not for the anon who submitted a command for Feferi to make Jade part of her harem.

This story wouldn’t be what it was (hell, it probably wouldn’t exist) without your commands, so thank you all! I seriously love you guys <3

…jeez, I turned a simple one-sentence question into a bigass answer. I feel even more like Hussie now. ))

Anonymous asked: What happened to arachnidsgrass?

(( She spent less and less time RPing as time went on, and as the dysfunctionstuck group died out. She eventually decided to change her blog name and officially declare it a general interest blog instead of an RP/Art blog. She can be found here if you’re still interested! ))